It’s a beautiful and calm night. The stars are shining brightly in the sky. The moon is gracefully showcasing it’s beauty to all the earth. The crickets can be heard chirping melodiously, breaking the silence of the night. In one homestead, a mother is preparing dinner as her children wait hungrily and expectantly. In another homestead, an older brother is helping his siblings with their homework albeit impatiently. In yet another homestead, a grandmother is passionately narrating tales of old age to her keenly attentive grandchildren. Salma is in her bedroom hurriedly finishing up her assignment in time to catch up with her favorite program on TV. It is a perfect night by all means.
A gentle knock is heard at Salma’s house door. There’s no mistake who is at the door. His knock is steady, predictable and authoritative. It has to be him. Her favorite person on earth; one whom she adores and fears in equal measure. One whom she loves with every inch of her being. He is her hero; he has always been. She would love to be just like him when she grows up. She would love to wield the same manner of respect and admiration that he does, someday. She would love to have such an unquestionably intelligent command of Maths that he does. Maybe, she could venture in his career field as well. Just maybe. She loves that he loves and adores her just the same way she loves him. She always looks forward to proudly displaying her exam results to him; he’s her number one cheerleader. She has already lost count of the many gifts he has bought her because of her brilliant performance in school. Salma is excited that he’s home early today. It’s a rare occurrence. She is eager to share her stories from school with him. He’s always an attentive audience, never judging or criticizing her.
Her mom dutifully opens the door to usher in the man of the house. As is the norm, he doesn’t greet her; he rarely greets anybody. He settles down at his favorite seat. The stench of alcohol quickly fills the room. He’s been drinking since he was a youth. Salma peeps through her bedroom door to catch a glimpse of her father. She always does that whenever he gets home before her bed time. Just to stare at him and admire him from a distance. He looks just fine today, nothing is amiss. She settles back to continue with her school work. She will join him at the sitting room when she’s done. She is already getting excited, preparing what stories to share with him. She is rapidly losing concentration and wondering why she didn’t finish her homework earlier! She would love to wish the homework away for just this moment. Sadly, she can’t. She has to do it and do it thoroughly well. She will soon be done, that’s a good sign!
Her racing thoughts are interrupted by her dad. He calls his wife who is obviously consumed with her cooking. There’s no response. He waits for a minute or so. He stands up from his seat and Salma quickly rushes to her bedroom door to peep. He walks to the cupboard and removes the newest China that her mom had recently acquired. He smashes it on the floor. Salma closes her eyes and ears, fear quickly grips her. She knows what might happen next. He opens the second cupboard door and repeats the script. Her mom rushes from the kitchen to stop further damage. Unfortunately, it’s too late. He welcomes her with a blow and asks her why she’s ignoring his call. Before she can respond to his question, a second blow lands on her back. She let’s out a deafening scream. Salma swiftly rushes to her ‘safe haven’. It’s a place where she always hides whenever there’s drama in their home. Tears are effortlessly flowing down her cheeks. She tries hard to escape into the world of fantasy that has become a place of comfort for her. It doesn’t work either; the noise is too loud. What happened to this perfect night?
The fight goes on for what seems like an eternity. Her mom still screaming and her dad raining blows and kicks mercilessly. The main door is unlocked. From the urgency with which it’s opened, it must be her mom running away. Her dad quickly follows her outside, to continue with his violence spree. Then everything goes silent again. Salma is now home alone. Today is yet another night she will spend alone. Every time her parents have a fight, they don’t return home for the night. She knows it’s safe to walk out of her room, but she doesn’t have the strength to leave her ‘safe haven’. The ache in her heart is threatening to take the life out of her. Her young mind can barely fathom how things changed in a split second. She barely understands why there was a fight. Though this scene has become all too familiar in her home, it tears her apart every time it happens. It leaves her totally scared. She feels vulnerable and invisible. She lives in insecurity, not sure if there’s going to be a tomorrow. She feels trapped. She wishes she could talk to someone about it. She wishes someone could understand her. She wishes someone could see beyond her academic accolades and reach out to her. All that is just but wishful thinking.
When she’s cried enough for the night, she walks out of her room and locks the main door. It’s going to be yet another long night. She is getting used to it now so it’s not much of a problem. She switches off the lights in the kitchen and walks on. She stares at the scattered pieces of shattered glassware on the floor and nods in disbelief. It’s too late in the night to clean up the mess. She walks to her room to try and catch some sleep. On nights such as this, sleep rarely comes by easily. Her homework lies unfinished on her study table; she will endure the beating by her teacher yet again. She relives the events of the night on her bed, trying to make sense of them in futility. She will soon be turning 8, all she wants for her birthday is a peaceful home environment. It might be a pipe dream, but she still holds on to hope.
She hopes that someday, all these will be gone. That she will share in the joys and experiences of her peers. That her life will be ‘normal’. That everything will be alright. As she closes her eyes to sleep, she rests in that hope. Someday soon.
wairimugathungu 